The Groundsman’s Shed

Newcastle Tops (a) Premier League Table! by groundsman
March 11, 2008, 5:36 pm
Filed under: Alan Smith, EPL, football, Newcastle, Nicky Butt, Premier League

Between the team hovering near the dregs of the Premiere League, King Kev’s Soccer Circus press, and Mike Ashley’s increasingly suspicious-sounding protests about selling the club, Newcastle fans may find it difficult to keep up their famously optimistic attitudes these days. 

My English friends make fun of the American sports media for being obsessed with statistics, but when it comes to scraping at the bottom of the barrell for positive things to say about a squad- statistics and the anorak-clad folks who record them are simply priceless.  That said, TGS has some good news for woeful Geordies- members of the downtrodden side are near the top of not one, but TWO major statistical tables. 

The wild haired “comeback kid” known as Alan Smith tops the league with 74 fouls committed!  Could this mean he’s a master of “no holds barred” playing, and is exciting and fiery on the pitch? 

… I don’t know.  I really am just asking.

Unfortunately the Toon manage to get overshadowed in the only other category where they appear to excel: Player Discipline.  Pele favorite Nicky Butt and Alan Smith share the 2nd place spot with a combined 18 yellow cards and one red.  The two were just edged out by Nigel Reo-Coker of Aston Villa “fame” who has a tremendous 9 yellow card and one red to his name. 

So congratulations Newcastle, enjoy the view from the Top of (a) Table.  

It would be unfair of me not to wish a sincere congrats to the Toon Army, who are currently in 3rd place in the “Attendance” category.  Well done!  I won a similar award in elementary school, and recieved a smudged certificate on dot matrix printer paper.  I will now offer a reward to the devoted fans, as it seems unlikely that their team is able to even give them as much.

In the 90’s We Had “Under Construction” Icons

Pardon the slow posting for the next few days- we’re going to be sprucing up The Groundsman’s Shed as well as getting ready for a tour of England’s finest football stadiums.  Is there one that should be on the list as a must visit?  Tell about it, and win a free shoutout! 


2 Comments so far
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I was recently in England, and although I didn’t have a chance go in, I did get to see portions of Stamford Bridge’s field from the entrance gate. I hadn’t realize that they actually put lamps on the turf to give it some “rays”. In either case, Stamford Bridge was beautiful. I also saw from a distance the Wimbley Stadium as I was traveling with some buds to Birmingham to watch a Aston Villa match.
Have a great time seeing some football over there. Its simply unreal.

Comment by bigrand

Thanks! Stamford Bridge looks gorgeous on tv, so I’m excited to get a look at it in person. I also want to just drop by some of the smaller grounds for little tours as well.

I won’t be seeing any footie IN Wembley (well at least probably not on this trip), but I will be taking a tour!

Comment by groundsman

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