The Groundsman’s Shed

Saturday afternoon’s showdown between Derby and Fulham saw a battle of losers more desperate than a Jade Goody v. Kerry Katona matchup in a disco loo.  It all ended with a 2-2 draw, Derby’s relegation to the Championship, and incredibly good natured cheering from the crowd, who seem comfortable with their lot in life.  I’ve stated before that I’m a big fan of the teams who languish at the bottom of the table, so now I just want to show my Derby Appreciation with the following list:

Ten Reasons to Love Derby

10.  Saturday’s match against Fulham (second from bottom of table) saw nearly a sellout crowd (33, 034) , though the team has only won once all season, and was relegated 6 matches before the season’s end. 

9.  Their home stadium is called “Pride Park” and their crest features a rueful looking ram with a bowed head.

8.  Derby County has been relegated from the top level of the English leagues at least 8 times in their history, and nearly every time has been in the manner of a spectacular freefall.

7.  The club’s mascot is a ram, creatively named “Rammie”, who has his own DVD called “Rammie Reads Aesop’s Fables” and the cover features the mascot in ill fitting blue shorts, legs akimbo, sitting around and reading from a giant book.

6.  Derby team captain Robbie Savage has Madonna’s body.  In fact, in the picture behind the link- he could be Madonna from the back. 

5.  Team manager Paul Jewell is a porn star. ‘Nough said.

4. The club has been under six managers since 2001, with George Burley’s 2003-2005 seasons being the longest reign.

3.  The home and away fans at Saturday’s match were apparently commiserating with hilarious chants about relegation- my favorite being the simple and sensible:

Derby County: “Gooo-ing Dooown!”

Fulham: “Sooo are Wee!”

2.  They once employed a young Brian Clough and Peter Taylor.  While there, Clough fired much of the staff- including the tea ladies and the groundsman (don’t like that bit!), took some time to make jingoistic statements about Italy’s involvement in World War II, and randomly took his players on a holiday jaunt to Spain.  Amazing.

1.  They can’t even win the title of “Worst Premier Team Ever”, which still goes to Sunderland- handing them yet another loss.